i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean
Boy: Wanna go out sometime?
Me: No, I’m sorry. I’m really trying to focus on my career right now.
this is so much funnier once you know what a pen license is
Pen License: the ‘graduation’ from pencil to pen teachers will decide if your writing is neat enough and punctual enough to be able to use a pen.
fucking australians what the hell
I thought it was just a joke so I looked it up and its true!
Simon: I wasnt expecting that
Me: *continues jacking off on the stage*
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face